After last night's discussion on emotions in the workplace it occured to me as we were ready to move on - what about the importance of body language and the impressions we give off, as well as perceive? This is SO important. When dealing with difficult people sometimes we might not realize that even when we are trying to remain calm, professional and collected, we sometimes betray our emotions unconsciously. We may also read what people are trying to hide from us.
Check this out: http://www.enotes.com/management-encyclopedia/body-language
Over time I have discovered that perceiving body language has a positive side, and a negative side. In the link above the example of someone with a migraine headache "may squint, look down and grimace..." thus giving a false impression. How do we discern the difference? Is it appropriate to ask a person if what you are perceiving accurate or not? I don't think it is because the person can so easily lie, or in the case of a difficult person it may lead to conflict. However, I am really curious what all of you think about body language and non verbal communication? Anyone ever confront someone about something there were perceiveing?
Yesterday I made the point that sometimes expressing anger can be really effective! But I ask you all - in what circumstances is it appropriate to get mad, and when is it not? Anyone have any stories?
I once fired someone because he was verbally disrespctful to me and other colleagues, and he took smoking breaks when we all were working. After trying to talk to him several times and getting no where I fired him "effective immediately" one afternoon. BUT, I shot myself in the foot because I was so angry at that point I was yelling. This guy went over my head to my supervisor, who then actually made me keep this guy on. I'll tell you what happened next at the end of this post.
And, what about email? Email lacks visual cues...although sometimes THIS IS CONSIDERED YELLING...but, sometimes people think that is for highlighting a particularly important point, not yelling. A colleague of mine actually did this for the longest time. She is in fact a very difficult person and one day I was really annoyed with her HIGHLIGHTING, and I told her so. We actually argued over the email! My point was that in my actual in person interactions with this individual her body language always conveys hostility, so in email I find myself reading her HIGHLIGHTING as if it were written with hostility. She thought I was being too sensitive, and I pointed to the tone. Even in email there can be subleties, so how one conveys themselves in person, as well as how one is perceived is all too important - in my opinion all are intertwined and related. With the increasing speed of technology will we be able to keep up with communication styles? How do we need to adjust in a fast paced world where most often we do not have time to make every message (in person, or electronic) "nice" but rather need to get to the point?
Your Thoughts?
Re: the guy I fired..., he did have a track record, and my boss actually agreed with me, but because I reacted impulsively and angrily he felt we needed to keep the guy on. Fortunately the guy was only contracted for a few more weeks so were able to not renew!
-Ken
Once, our organization hired an consulant to set up an traiining of "How to Deal with Difficult People". It is mandatory for every employees to attend. It taught us to be clam and not let our emotion to contorl ourself. Saying is easy, but doing is very difficult. I am working as a Human Resources Administrator. I am dealing with 160 employees at our central office regarding their benefits, payroll and others issue. I have seen difficult people. we have an employee has a reputation of having "bad attitude" that even when we are in a very short of staffs situtation, she will never be the candidate to cover the front desk. Many employees do not like her at all, but I am able to laught with her and chat with her. And everytime she has ruestion for me, I am able to answer her with clam and patientce. "How do you do it?" my co-worker asked me once. I tell myself the employees does not mean harm. It is just the way she talks and acts. If you being clam, eventully that person will be clam too in most of situation. Just don't let your emotion to help you make adjustment first.
ReplyDeleteYu Mei Wu